My First DNF

The best way to do a little self reflection is to sometimes write down how you feel. First things first: this weekend was my first DNF, and a failed attempt at my first 70.3 of the year. How does this make me feel?
1) Disappointed.
I train for this day in and day out. Months of preparation. Heavy volume, and pure exhaustion. The problem with this race is that it came after 5 months of basically A-racing and a last minute attempt to crank up the volume. My Body was exhausted and this time it wasnt putting up with it anymore.
2) But it was Smart choice. right?
I am a Pro-Triathlete. This is my job. It is my job to know how my body responds to different efforts, to know the course, to stay properly hydrated and to lead by example. In this case, my body was shutting down and I knew I had to call it quits before it was too late (more on this later).
3) Yet, I still have ALOT of work to do.
One thing-Biking. My biking has always been a struggle and it couldnt be more apparent then now. Another thing-mental game. I cannot stress how hard it is to be a first year pro and go from being the best to being the worst. It wrecks havic on your mind. To be honest, in this race it didnt bother me one bit, but I remember at the beginning of the year it really played a game with my mind so its just a reminder that this is as much mental as it is physical.
"Race your own race is always what I like to say". I knew my first year as a Pro was going to be tough, but I didnt realize it was going to be this tough. I try to remind myself I am a young one in the game--25 to exact, while the rest of my competition is around 30 or older. If any other Pros read this and can relate to the struggle, Please send your words of advice!
4) In the end I still love Triathlon. I did still stay around to cheer and watch the others finish. I watched Andy Potts give out medals to others as they finished. I talked with Rinny (who also didnt finish the race) about whats next on the schedule. The truth is, --It happens. In the end, we all still support each other and love what we do. Sometimes our bodies just have other things in mind!

Now onto the race...Eagleman 70.3! I decided this year to do races that I wanted to. Not to chase points or to worry about money (though its always nice). Just to do the races on my "bucketlist" and remember why I love to race. Eagleman is one of the classic ironman events and you actually get one hell of a cool Eagle trophy to remember. Since I wasnt able to get an Eagleman this year, I atleast got a cool backpack. Who doesnt like cool swag??

The race is a Kona qualifier so alot of people come out to grab their slots. I picked it because it was in my home state of Maryland, on the eastern shore (Cambridge-a cozy little town!) and it would be perfect timing for a little home-beach vacation afterwards. Before the race I knew there was going to be some super stars at the race, but I wasnt very much worried about trying to place or compete. I just wanted to have a good race and see how it goes.

The days leading up to the race I wasnt feeling that great. Tired. Run down. Beaten up. I finally started to get my grove back in the pool, but the legs were still feeling stale. I had a little too much training over the last couple weeks and it seemed to leave my body in a very fragile state. Race morning I tried to warm up and I just felt empty. But when you race it just magically appears and I was banking on that being the case today.

Girls getting ready to get in the water. 

WTC has different rules than USAT and so the race was wetsuit legal for both Pros and Amateurs. The water was a stinkin 74 degrees but if everyone else wears the wetsuit, you better believe I will do the same thing. The men were off and then the girls all moved out bobbing around and watching what the guys were doing. Everyone decided to stick to the right side and being the chicken I am I lined up to the left. Then with about 1 min to spare I yelled at myself and told myself to get in the mix. Off to the group of girls I went and then we were off.

I am actually that arm sitting straight up towards the front! We went off fast but not as fast as an olympic distance. I was surprised. I actually felt really good. So I decided to push the pace. What the heck!? Water-baby I told myself. I knew there was 4 buoys until the orange turn buoy and so I saw the orange, but realized they were circular orange buoys instead of the the normal triangles. I figured that was the turn buoys since they were orange and it was set # 4 so I started to make the turn. I started swimming into other girls and was thinking where the heck are they going? Well now its time to haul ass back into T1, so I kept on moving. I glanced back and realized no one was with me. I stopped looked around and then saw a person on a boat motioning me to where the other girls were. SHIT! I then saw what was the TRIANGLE orange buoys. What the crap was that all about. I shot off like a rocket to catch up, but I had already put about a 200 gap between myself and them. I was in no-mans land and suddenly hot as hell from trying to sprint. Chase said he has never seen my face so red when I got out of the water. I thought I was going to burst!

 I figured I lost about 2 minutes and it makes sense once I look at the results. Darnit! Atleast I know I can swim with those girls and I will get it next time.  The bike on the other hand.....thats a whole new question.

After my last half last year, my coach think that I may have "over-biked", so she gave me strict rules to not go hard the first hour. I stuck to the plan. Got comfortable, hydrated, ate, all with still seeing girls around me. It was nice to know you were on the right road since you could see the other girls. The course was pancake-flat. I am from Houston, and I can say that this was EVEN FLATTER than Houston. Thats a hard one to beat. I thought that I would like this....but it seemed my body did not. Its not that I felt terrible, but I definitely didnt have that power spark I needed. I focused on continuing to drink and "race my own race". I knew my bike was a little slower than it needed to be but I was so ready to just get off and run. Except that didnt happen.

I dismounted into the mud-pit. Literally!! It had rained hard 2 days leading up the race and the field was a disaster. It looked like I had mud compression sleeves on my legs and my bike drive train did not look so nice. Heres what we had to run in: 

Our poor bikes!! It minds as well been a muddy buddy or cyclo-cross race! Anyways, I headed out. Now usually when I get of the bike I cant keep my legs from slowing down. This time I couldnt get them to speed up. I knew that It would take a mile to get them back and I kept being positive. I was watching pace but more concerned with heart rate. Usually when you run, its hard to keep your heart rate from red-lining. However, this time it was going down. Down. Down. Down. This was no good. At mile 2 I knew that this wasnt going to be pretty. I didnt think my body was physically capable of going any more.  Being a professional I train alot and know how my body responds to stress. There has only been one other occasion when my heart rate has done this and it was when I was over-trained, almost sick, and on the verge. You have got to know when to let your body rest, and this was my calling. I would have done no good walking the rest of the way just because of pride. I know that being a "pro" is no excuse for quiting in a race, but I also know my health was a hazard and I still have the rest of my season ahead of me. 

I pulled off the course and began to walk. I told Chase and my Mom, " I am okay", "Dont worry", "today just wasnt going to happen". I got a little choked up at first and couldnt breathe (its emotional and hence shows I care). I knew I made the right decision, but again you still cant help but be a little upset. Then the mind goes crazy...What did I do wrong? What could I have done better? Stop it mind!! It is okay. I will be okay.

I think that I have a few things to change in my training and they will hopefully be for the better.  Its all apart of the process and I will not let this keep me down! I cant thank my friends and family enough for cheering me on and the nice messages each and everyone of you sent me. Sometimes I think I let you down, but I know that in the end you all will support me no matter what happens. Big Thanks to my sponsors Bay Area Schwinn for flying me out here, OutRival Racing &Tru Tri Sports for coaching and support, First Endurance & Boundless Nutrition for nutrition, Third Coast Training for getting my back into place pre-race, XSics Software for additional travel funds, and Rudy Project & Kiwami for always helping me play the part and look good even when I am not feeling too hot!